Posts Tagged ‘parents’

NRI Finding A Soul Mate

December 29, 2011

People are often critical of NRIs who come to India to find a life partner. Why? I guess because there have been cases where such marriages have not worked out, or because after having lived out of India for an extended period, people back in India feel that NRIs have forsaken their country and shouldn’t have anything to do with India anymore, especially not when selecting their life partners.

I, on the other hand, can tell you from personal experience that an NRI coming to India to find a soul mate is a win-win situation. How? Well I had been working in UK for about four years and had dated scores of women locally. Some were English, others 2nd generation Indians living in UK. They were all rather sweet in their own way; but somewhere there was a cultural connection that was missing. There was a social context, a set of shared values, that I was seeking; which I lacked for them, and in turn they lacked for me.

Marriage is a life long and serious commitment. One must be aware that it isn’t love and being sweet alone that can make it work. The two people in a marriage should share a mutual understanding. And that’s why I looked to India to find my soul mate. I flew to Delhi once my parents had lined up meetings with various women. And as I met them and went out with them, my suspicions were confirmed at once. When compared with the girls I had gone out with in UK, there was no explaining required here. Everything felt natural. I understood the women in India, and they understood me. There was a deep familiarity present.

And that’s when I met Reshma. We both instantly knew that we had found our soul mate. And today, ten years on, I can proudly admit that I feel proud to have turned back to my home country to seek my soul mate. We are happy and understand each other perfectly!

Home for an NRI will always be India

December 29, 2011

I have been living in Silicon Valley for over 15 years. While working as an NRI, I have managed to lead an extremely fulfilling life, both personally as well as professionally. The United States has embraced me and given me a lot to be thankful for. And here, with my lovely wife of eight years and our two young kids, we have led a peaceful and rewarding life. However, you can take an Indian away from India, but you can’t take the India out of an Indian. This is the single strongest realization I have had in all my years of living abroad.

How did I come to this realization? Despite the fact that I jumped at the chance to leave India and pursue my dreams in United States; I found that I was sub-consciously craving to return to my home country. It began with frequent trips to my sister in Jamshedpur. By crediting it to love for family; the frequency of my visits started increasing to as many as twice a year. I would talk Priya and kids into giving up trips to Disneyland and Europe in favor of traveling to India, by saying that it was important be with family as much as possible. And they’d always be sweet enough to oblige.

But while I was making these trips to Jamshedpur, I also realized that it wasn’t just my sister on who’s account I was returning. Sure, she and her family were a large part of my frequent trips back home. But it was also the city itself. It was the smell of the morning in our family home. The familiar sights and sounds. It were these sometimes tangible, and sometimes intangible, reasons that had formed this invisible umbilical cord between India and me. And I just had to come back as often as I could.

For NRIs like me, we may call India our second home, naming our adoptive countries our homes. But in truth, India will always be our first home and we will keep coming back.

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